Saturday, 18 February 2012

Bringing the Black Dog to Heel.


Bringing the Black Dog to Heel

For the years the black dog ruled me
It haunted every step.
It growled when I looked happy
And bit when I was brave.
It taught me to cower and fear
With my true self locked away.
I sought for help from others.
But so many could not aid
They could not see the black dog.
They could not drive it off
They could and did give medicine
Which helped to ease the wounds
But they could not rid my soul
From the black dogs rule
Then someone heard me
And in my open hands
She gave me a link of chain.
To help me take command.
I learned what she could teach me
And made links of my own
And then I sought from others
So that my chain could grow.
With more help from friends
Who understood my plight
I chained up the black dog
I looped my chain around its neck.
I made it come to heel
It’s been four months since it was chained.
And forced under my rule.
The black dog still fights against my hand.
But I can feel it growing tired.        
It will not rule again while I live
Though I know it will never truly yield.


I started this blog right before I was going to receive treatment for Depression and Anxiety.  I've been in recovery for about 4 months. This week, even though I'm sick with the flu I feel like I'm in control.

I used to say I felt like I was in the bottom of a deep black pit, then I felt like I was climbing out...then I felt like I was balanced above it on a tight rope, constantly fighting for balance.  Now, I've come out of this pit and I no longer feel like I'm balancing on a tightrope.  Now I feel like I'm on a bridge, its still a narrow wobbly rope bridge but it's getting sturdier.  I will always have that pit below me, but I will never be at its' bottom again.

Is that enough analogies?

Basically I'm better and while this is always going to be a battle I'm fighting...I no longer feel I need to keep a separate blog about it.  I'm going to leave this up but I probably won't update it again.  Any further posts on my mental health will go on my main blog.


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