Separating the Physical from Mental

This last week my fibromyalgia has been flaring very badly. I've been in an extreme amount of pain and exhausted, regularly having to nap and even then by 8 o'clock I am flagging badly and I'm having to take my painkillers a lot more frequently than I'd like.*

It's sucked, no question. No one likes to be in pain or feeling run down. It has been especially annoying this week because I didn't do anything to cause it. Often when I have flare it's caused by me over doing it, this time I didn't. In fact I was very careful about pacing and at no point over reached myself, and yet here I am popping pills and cursing slightly every time I move.

Unfortunately there isn't much I do about it either. I've stretched, took hot baths and showers, used microwave hot pads, and even meditation but nothing is really helping and there isn't anything the doctor can suggest to improve it. My only choice is to keep up what I'm doing, keep moving as much as I can and wait for it pass.

However, ever cloud has a silver lining even in this cloud of pain. For once I am in pain without being depressed. My mood has been very positive this week and I've got a lot done despite my pain. I finished crocheting a blanket, started a book and got almost all the Christmas cards finished and posted. I've not attacked myself over the fact I was struggling physically and accepted that I just have to take painkillers and keep going as best I can. I've even accepted that I need help and have not been ashamed to ask and receive the help I needed.

This has helped me with an old issue. I've often worried that my pain is just in my head, that it's a symptom of my depression. This has proved to me (my doctors already knew) that my pain is a physical illness, not a symptom of my mental illness. To have that distinction proved to my satisfaction is very reassuring.

Especially as recently I was chatting to a woman who asked about the fact I walk with a stick. I replied I had a chronic pain condition and explained (briefly) about fibromyalgia saying that my nerves thought they were in pain even when nothing was causing that pain. She said "Oh so it's a mental illess? It's just all in your head?" I replied that no it was a neurological illness. My nerves don't work right, not "I'm imagining" my pain. Even though the woman meant well and was actually a very nice woman that did rankle me more than I cared to admit.

Sometimes it's difficult to separate my physical illness from my mental but it's important to remember that while they can effect each other they are separate illnesses in their own right.



*For context the optimal amount of painkillers I would take in a day is none. I've been taking more like 3 or 4 a day for the last week.